"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
