well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
