My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
