I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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