Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
