I want to make a zoo with you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
