a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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