What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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