Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
