i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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