I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
