I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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