Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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