Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
