sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
