So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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