I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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