What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to calm my uterus...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
