It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
