Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
