Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
