his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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