marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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