I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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