His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
