see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
