we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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