i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
