One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
