I cockslap morals
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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