Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
As shirtless as possible
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want nice things and good sex
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
