I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
