It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
