My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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