Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
