she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So many bounce houses so little time
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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