people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Houston, we have a blender
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
A+ Viking dick
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
