my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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