yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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