they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I had to cum in my sink.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
