I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
