I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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