It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
