dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
