His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
