dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
