that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
