my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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