So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
