We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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